Preparing you for your wedding… and your marriage.

I am so happy you have decided to get married and are now looking for an officiant for your wedding!

In my 20+ years of ordained ministry in the Episcopal Church I have officiated dozens and dozens of weddings nationally and abroad. I am happy to celebrate with you themed weddings, same-gender weddings, inter-religious weddings, and destination weddings.

My services also include pre-marital counseling which helps deepen your relationship and offers the precious opportunity to create a bespoke ceremony weaving in your relationship story, family history, faith, and future dreams.

Christian marriage is a “solemn and public covenant between committed adults in the presence of God,” thus is not to be entered into lightly or unadvisedly, but deliberately and with reverence.

We will meet four times, including your rehearsal before the ceremony. We can meet via zoom and/or in person. You are welcome to meet me at my church in Southfield, MI and in most cases I am happy to travel to you.

Session Outline

1) Introductions, Expectations, and Ceremony

During this initial session we will talk about you, how you met, the dynamics of your families of origin, and what you are looking for in your wedding and marriage.

We will also look at the ceremony outline. We will look at possible readings, think about ceremony participants, and begin to help you imagine what this pinnacle part of your wedding day will look like.

It's important to me to help alleviate the inherent stress this day brings by looking at that ceremony and getting you comfortable with what will await you on your special day.

2) Improving Upon Perfection

You're obviously doing a lot of things really well to bring you to this point in your relationship.

Between these first and second sessions I'll invite each of you to take a 160-question, research-based questionnaire from a leader in the pre-marital preparation field called Prepare/Enrich.

This will produce a detailed report that we'll use in this session to celebrate your wins and invite you to look more deeply at growing edges of your relationship.

A good marriage is not an accomplishment, it is a practice and Prepare/Enrich can help us identify key areas of your relationship to make your marriage the best it can be.

3) More Conversation and Ceremony Specifics

Due to the exhaustive nature of our Prepare/Enrich report, we will continue our conversation on its findings.

We will then drill deeper into the ceremony, with further discussion on our readings other details. You will receive a copy of your ceremony well in advance of your wedding date for distribution to participants and wedding planners. I will also send you detailed preferences regarding audio and other accoutrements of the ceremony to make sure your special day goes off without a hitch.

4) Wedding Rehearsal

We will set up the rehearsal time, place, and date together. I strongly recommend the rehearsal take place in the actual ceremony venue to eliminate as many opportunities for error as possible.

All participants, including parents and readers should be present.

I also recommend you bring the the wedding license to the rehearsal so that it can be filled out before the wedding so you won't have to leave your guests on your big day to do so. If you would like to save one copy for a photo op after your ceremony we can easily do so!

Setting a wedding date and time

Dates on my calendar are established on a first-come, first-served basis. If you choose a day and time that is unavailable, perhaps there are opportunities to consider a different time of day for your wedding.

Prior marriage

If either party has been divorced, approval for the anticipated marriage must be obtained from our bishop. We want to ensure that the responsibilities and lessons from previous relationships have been appropriately addressed. A minimum of six months must pass after the divorce decree is granted before your wedding.

Marriage license

Check with your local authorities, but in Michigan one must obtain a wedding license from a County clerk within 60 days prior to the wedding day.

The wedding service

The Episcopal Book of Common Prayer provides a form for weddings that I like to use as a jumping off point (see pp. 422ff). Holy Communion can be part of the wedding ceremony. A list of suggested Scripture readings as appointed in the Book of Common Prayer will be given to the couple to make their choices.

Music

Music for the ceremony should be chosen to complement the environment and the dignity of the wedding ceremony. In general, popular, secular songs offered by family members or friends are appropriately shared at the wedding reception. However I am open to whatever best represents you and your taste. I can assist you arrange musicians such as trumpet players, violinists, or vocalists.

Photography, video, and wedding planners

I have worked with many talented and professional wedding planners, photographers, and videographers. I find it best to be connected to your vendors with plenty of lead time to assure there is a collective understanding of expectations and timeline.

Rehearsal

It is my preference that the hour-long ceremony rehearsal take place at the venue usually the day or evening prior to the wedding. All members of the bridal party should be present and prompt. A spirit of reverence and joy is appropriate. In my experience the ceremony can also provide significant peace of mind in advance of what is always a busy day!

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